Friday, September 21, 2012

serenity now

I'm afraid of honesty. I fear the truth.

Because sometimes the truth is socially unacceptable.


I'm afraid of never finding my Paris. Or worse not recognizing it.

I'm afraid of you. I'm afraid of your eyes and all the wrong they'll see me do. Your ears, for the wrong they'll hear me speak. And I fear your nostrils because they can smell my stench. Your lips, for the words that roll of your tongue and then drop, drop like cannon balls and they sink my ship. My ship called Self Confidence. But most of all, I fear your back. Because when I can see your back then I know I'm not even worth being judged anymore. I'm afraid of all the ways you can hurt me and all the ways you can love me. I'm afraid of looking into your eyes and not feeling uncomfortable. Of your lips, of your words rolling of your tongue and floating.   


"I'm afraid of liking the smell of my own farts"





I'm afraid of growing up. But I guess it's probably too late for that.

I'm afraid of Love. I was alone at the bar, Love offered to by me a drink. He was real nice, made me feel important. And I guess I believed him for a sec. Then he took me home. We drank red wine and he laughed at my jokes. But when I woke up, he was gone. I was Love's one night stand.

I'm afraid of children. Because their minds are too easily corrupted and I'm too capable of corruption. Because no matter how loud I turn up my headphones, I can't tune out the crying.

I'm afraid of getting up in front of the class.

"there's no way in hell you're getting out of this world alive, so you might as well have fun"

17 comments:

  1. You have really good voice. It's nice to read. And I love that line about not finding your Paris. very good stuff.

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  2. As I said before, you are not a tourist. Welcome to your Paris.

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  3. That line made me laugh out loud. I won't tell you which line, because I think you know.

    My favorite line is the one about growing up.

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  4. I was Love's one night stand.

    why didn't you ever tell me you could write like this?

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  5. sometimes the truth is socially unacceptable. stealing it.

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  6. --I'm afraid of looking into your eyes and not feeling uncomfortable.

    --I'm afraid of children. Because their minds are too easily corrupted and I'm too capable of corruption. Because no matter how loud I turn up my headphones, I can't tune out the crying

    Can I steal both? :)

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  7. I'm afraid of growing up. But I guess it's probably too late for that.- stealing :)

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  8. "Because when I can see your back then I know I'm not even worth being judged anymore." This was unreal. Loved it. Stealing this line

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  9. I'm afraid of never finding my Paris. Or worse not recognizing it.
    stealing this

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  10. There are so many lines I like in this. I'm thinking about stealing the whole thing.

    You're an amazing writer.

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  11. stealing this whole thing wouldnt be enough. I want to bookmark this in my soul, my heart but as hard as i try i am somehow unable. i am flat , and i dont know what to do.

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  12. I feel like this might be a very well written representation of my life.

    So I thank you for that.

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  13. I'm afraid of looking into your eyes and not feeling uncomfortable.
    #stolen

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  14. "I'm afraid of children. Because their minds are too easily corrupted and I'm too capable of corruption. Because no matter how loud I turn up my headphones, I can't tune out the crying." This is amazing, I relate to this paragraph.

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  15. "Because no matter how loud I turn up my headphones, I can't tune out the crying."

    That line! #stolen

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